要用華語寫嗎? 用華語寫好像比較反映到我的心情.
看著自己寫的華語, 不經懊悔了, 語病超多, 原來我不會使用標點符號了

我很煩, 其實我不知道我在煩什麼, 是更年期來了嗎? 是荷爾蒙失調嗎? 怎麼每當我在考試期間, 我的脾氣特別暴躁, 特別容易不開心, 特別容易胡思亂想. 我不知道, 我知道我真的很煩, 時間好像排得滿滿似的, 其實不是, 至少中間都會有一點點空隙時間我能上下網, 發下呆. 我怕呆在人多的地方, 好像我根本不屬於那個世界那般. 是不是我把自己逼得太緊了? 是不是我太希望自己能把所有事情弄得完美? 是不是我太追求完美? 我真的不知道我自己.
當一張白皙完美的紙張不小心粘到幾滴墨汁時, 人們只會專注在那幾滴墨汁而忽略掉那張白紙. 我就好比有墨跡的紙張, 沒有完美可言, 人們從來沒有留意到我的好.
當一個人為自己訴說自己的不願意而碰壁了幾次, 那個人不會再做這種傻事了. 妥協, 是那個人唯一能做的事.

最近聽回爵士歌曲, 爵士依然是我的最愛, 很舒服

"怎麼會這樣 我也不知道
謝謝誰為我祈禱 可是我並不困擾
誰能夠決定誰 怎樣最好
我疏離得很舒服 不想治療

這種距離對大家都好
就隔著一片海互相遠眺
我是一座離島 人海邊的離島
世界和我都不無聊"

她說 ♥

其實我沒有不開心, 完全沒有遇到什麼不開心的事, 只是不知為什麼心情很沉重, 是壓力問題嗎? 心情沉重時, 最愛聽relaxig song, 喜歡這首歌, 音樂很優美, 可以感受到那份感動, 我太容易陷入音樂世界了

又有種衝動想去海灘了, 我發現每當我有考試, 我都有這種想法: 一個人跑去看無邊無際的海, 享受一個人那份自由, 發洩所有的情感嗎? 在朋友面前, 我根本做不了這種事, 是不是代表我依然打開不了心房?
我 太會保護我自己了, 太會隱瞞我的情感, 我不知道該如何去宣洩, 即使是最要好的朋友, 我都不知道要如何說. 我很討厭我這種性格, 可以改嗎? 我從來沒有想過要隱瞞, 只是不知怎麼說. 有時候, 你可以和相識不久的人說的心事還比要好的朋友多, 可能是因為你知道他真的有聽你說的話

Nightmare

I had a nightmare last night,
it was a sadness nightmare,
I still remember everything which happen in the nightmare.

And yes, my tear automatic drops out.
My heart was pain on that time.
I can't imagine if it will happen
Is like my world collapse 
It was a painful process and I don't want to face it

EMO

I guess I am emo queen.
Almost everyday I will emo,
my twitter almost full of emo post. so cool right?
Almost every time I will emo when I'm alone.
Almost everything I done is unsuccessful.
Almost everything I done is just crap.
It's only show how stupid idiot rubbish useless failure I am.
*clap clap clap* I screw up all the things.

Slap me please,
I don't want to be so emo.

I'm not Happy

人,
很善變,
對每件事情的看法會隨著年齡而改變.

感情,
很兒戲,
可以因為一件微不足道的事情而改變.

這種感情失去了也不重要吧?
因為小事而破壞的感情證明雙方都沒有交出真誠的心對對方.
交出真心對待別人卻換來遭到杯葛,
心裡浮現了失望,傷心,痛心,
時間可以沖淡一切,
一段日子後,
居然會發現原來曾經自己可以為了這份感情而痛徹心扉.

人,
怕孤單,
希望有人會陪在自己身邊,
我也是啊,
可是找不到,沒人願意吧,
單單敷衍幾句對我說,
那還有什麼意思說下去,
倒不如所有事情都藏在心裡更好.

最近沒心情說話,
可是不說話又會被人誤會自己耍酷, 驕傲吧.

沒有和他們同班,
我很想念上個學期我們一起嘻嘻哈哈的日子,
這個學期我不快樂,
很自卑.

我不知道有時候你說的話是有心還是無意,
你總是要取笑我,讓我難堪,
可是我沒看過你取笑其他人,
我不知道我是好欺負還是什麼,
因此我很少和你說話了.

我只是希望我能活得開心一點,
有人可以關心一下我,
原來是一件很難的事情.

R.I.P

Finish my Microeconomics Presentation,
it's so suck like shit,
I got a feeling to kill myself on that time,
depress, how come I can did a shit presentation! FML
I really want to slap myself or go to bang wall
*Pi Piak*

I'm such a crap,
better don't live in the world,
I'm such a rubbish who waste my daddy money to feed me.

Hey,
who say wanna her daddy be proud on her?
Yes, that's what I said before.

I really wish I can do well in any subject,
but Microeconomics,
I'm really hate you,
maybe I freaking idiot,
I don't understand what lecturer talking about,
I'm so inferiority when I stay in that class,
I'm the most stupid,
I hope I know how to invisible,
people don't even see me in class forever,
by the way,
no people will care about me,
they don't even know I'm same class with them,
whatever lah,
I can't force them to care me.

Mid-Term exam is around the corner,
2 days more,
I'm not really prepare yet,
I don't want screw it but.....


Daddy, I so sorry to you.

New Babe ♥

Finally,
I bought my laptop today.

I bought Dell laptop which is pink in color.

Really look like so pinky eh. How come I will choose this kind of color. =S


Actually,
Dell is not a brand which I want.
I want Macbook!

 
Seriously want bought Macbook,
but in my opinion,
it's not worth at all!
Cause I'm looking for Macbook Air,
it's only 2GB,
means it's quite slow lah.
The stuff suggest me take Macbook Pro.
By the way,
Macbook Pro more expensive and I'm prefer Macbook Air design.
Somemore I wanna add on Microsoft Office which quite expensive too.
Total up all the things,
it's already charge over RM4000.
*If I choose Macbook Air lah.
If I choose Macbook Pro,
it's almost charge RM5xxx.
My friend say that I no need to add-on things actually,
but I don't want buy pirate eh.



I'm toughing because of my daddy still let me buy Macbook.
I'm so surprise.
It's really expensive eh!

That's why I choose Dell, which is more cheaper than Macbook.
For me,
we using laptop for doing works.
I'm not study graphic design,
I no need to buy laptop which is so expensive lah.
Waste money meh?

 
I love you Dad.
I know you treat me damn good.
Whatever I want, you will try your best to give me.
You try your best to give us a comfortable life.
I know you work very hard.
You know,
I'm not a good daughter.
Always waste your money,
always do some things to let u disappointed.
Even though there is a gap between us,
we less to talk to each other,
but I know you love me.
I will try my best to be your good daughter,
study hard is a best present to you.
I wanna you to be proud of me.

LOVE ♥

Things which happen long long time ago.
One of my friend complain about my blog is damn boring because of I doesn't write LOVE STORY.

Not I don't want to share my love story, it's because of I'm not in relationship right now.


Hmmmmm,
I'm single quite a long time.

Wondering why people always thought I got boyfriend?
By the way, I hope I got boyfriend too.

I'm a human, I got feeling.
I will envy people who in a sweet relationship for sure.
Who doesn't want have people sek sek?

But things we really want, doesn't mean we will get it easily.
Love? More difficult to get right?
I meant True Love.


I'm lack of confidence,
I don't believe people will love me.
That's why I'm lack of peach blossom. LOL

I had fall in love with somebody else before.
But, they treat me as what?

Find me when you're boring,
you don't even text me even though you wanna find me,
WHY? You want me automatic text you.


I'm speechless and disappointed.
It's comes one by one.
And my heart is dead one by one.
Puppy love will always like this right?


I don't care my boyfriend handsome or not.
At least you treat me with your sincerely heart,
care my feeling anyway,
That's what I want.
And it's quite simple right?

But, peach blossom never pop out.



Love is hard for me.

Bestie for Life

每個人的身邊都會有知己好友, 當然我也不例外 =)

其實我的人緣不是很好,
即使認識蠻多朋友,
都是屬於過路人,
到了最後我們之間只剩下 "Hi,最近好嗎" 這些客套話.

幸虧,
還有幾個永遠都會不間斷的出現在我身邊.

好朋友如何相處的? 好朋友如何維持感情?

好朋友會互相關心對方.
好朋友是無論對方發生什麼事情需要自己幫忙, 自己都會想辦法幫.
好朋友是樂意為對方分擔苦與樂.


好朋友會互相挖苦對方, 但心依然關心對方.


我有幾位好朋友,
我們都愛互相挖苦對方,
無論當著對方面前, 還是別人面前,
我們都是這樣.
不知情況的別人就會覺得我們感情很糟,
其實不是,我們已經習慣了這種方式.
其實我們都很關心對方 ♥

我們都不介意對方說自己什麼, 因為對方都會在自己面前說. =D


我發現我不能沒了你們,
我們還需要繼續愛下去對吧?


我不介意別人如何看待我,討厭我,
只要你們依然愛我就夠了 =)

Depress

Emotional is back to my mind.
I'm getting emotional in this few days.

I don't like my college life again.
I'm miss my semester 1.
Now is so......stressful? Maybe.
I miss my friends.
We all separate to every class.
No more fun at all.

All the subject are so boring except Calculus.
Maybe people may feel I'm crazy because of I like Calculus (Addition Mathematics).
I'm not a genius in Mathematics actually.
But I'm prefer to calculate.
Others than this are super boring.
Especially English class,
I'm damn hate it! Don't like it!
Oh my god.....Can I skip it?
Can I just go through the final exam? wtf man!
I don't know how can I survive in this semester.
I'm feel sad when I saw you guys had fun but I'm not one of you guys!

Failure is Me

"yennie, chill up! yennie, don't sad! yennie, don't cry! oh my god, how come will failed?"

I heard about all these sentence many many times today.
Know why? I'm seriously get a bad result in final exam.
My result very cute.
From top to bottom.
1 Distinction, 2 Pass and 1 Fail,
and yes, my English failed.
Congratulation to me,
I need to prepare money to retake this subject. wtf!
I'm shock when I looked to the result,
tears almost fall down when people asked about my result.
I'm disappointed,
guess what?
I know my English suck like shit but is not bad till get failed.
But my total marks before final exam is not bad.
How come I can't get only 16 marks to pass this subject?!
Oh shit!
As what I said before,
I'm loser, I'm crap, I'm idiot, I'm such a failure,
It's fact.

And yes, I know what meaning of "what is done is done"
I tried to think positive.
But when I think about my result again,
it's broke my mood again.

Even though my Maths get Distinction,
I don't feel happy.
Is not I want to get,
HD flied away.

Conputing Principle,
I though I can get it at least Credit.

Only 1 subject I surprised with,
Study Skill, luckily I pass it.
Failed English is better than failed Study Skill, for me!

Try your best in your next semester!
Yes, I know it.
I'll chill up, but not now. Give me some time. Will be alright.

I need Money

I need money. Seriously, I'm really need money.
I'm stupid. I'm idiot. I'm crap. I’m such a failure.
If not, it won't be happen.
I don't have enough of money.
I don't know how can I take my car to repair.
I hope I can earn money from nuffnang but not enough.
I think I should sale something to earn money.

I love my friends.
Seriously, friendship is important to me.

You will know how important it is to yourself when something was happen.

Cry Me Out

Congratulation to me,
I'm screwed up my Mid-Term exam.


No more High Distinction
No more Distinction.

Now I only hope I can pass all of my subject.


I'm hopeless,
tears almost fall down when I saw my paper.
It's so suck.

I'm full of stress,
Can I do better in Final?
I'm lack of confidence now.

I need a psychologist soon.

Pray to My Phone

My phone is definitely spoiled already.
Phone's keypad is definitely can't use.
I have no idea why it will dead.
Maybe will take it to repair. Or throw it?

They are congratulation to me because of I can buy a new phone again.

haha, yup.
I can buy a new phone again but my dream phone haven't launch out.


So,
Is using a "lao ya" phone now.

Stressful Mood

Recently, I had already finished my quiz.
Get a quiz result today.It was damn suck.
I'm really quite sad about it.
Really disappointed about this time of quiz.
Yup...I didn't done well in my quiz.
Finite Mathematics,because my careless,I'm sure I'm had been deduct some marks.
English,was dead already.I know it.

Next Friday I have presentation.
I haven't done my assignment yet.
Next Saturday is start my Mid-Term exam.
OMG...I don't have enough of time to done assignment and revision.
I will try to rush my assignment as fast as I can.
Hopefully I can done it on tonight or tomorrow.

I'm stressful,
I hope I can score all of it.


I know I'm emotional recently.
Hey guys,don't worry,this just a moment.
I still the girl who like to laugh and blur.
Blur....I will try to don't be too blur.

Suck Day

3rd of June is my damn worse day in this month!

I had my 1st quiz of computing principle.
I had done my revision until 2am before that day.
But....Gosh!!
I'm wake up late again!
Tried to drift to college.
On the way,my brother was called to me and suggested me tried to used another way to college.
He say that quite less people will use that way.
So that is won't have traffic jam.

Okay,I were accepted his suggestion.
And the conclusion is I'm get lost!
You know why?
I go into that road is because road sign has show place that I wanted go to.
After that road sign,all the road sign are not show that place again.
And have some crossroad.
OMG...Which road can I choose?!
And I don't know why they like set the road sign at the corner and hide by tree.

Finally,I was find the way that make me get lost just now.
And....OMG! I'm miss a intersection.
Because of this,I'm gone to KL.
And now I know that where is Museum Negara.
Congratulation to me!!


Yeah...I'm very lucky.I'm get lost and waste around 1 more hours to reach there.
Was reached when they just finished their quiz.
Luckily lecturer let me take that quiz.
But the quiz is not easy.
Quiz was ruined my mood again.
Before that,I thought I can score this quiz.
Now? Disappointed.

Not just only this,had a suck thing happen when FM class.
I hate it.Damn

I'm never regret what I did before.
If you thought that is my fault?
Fine,I don't care it.

Pass

Finally,I'm Pass it! Damn Happy!
Spend 2 days to memorize it.
Can't fall sleep 2 days already.
Now,it's Pass.No need to worry anymore!YES!!!


I'm feel I'm very lucky today! XD

Happy?

在這兒,我找不到開心.

我不知道開心是什么了,
我的要求很簡單,我只希望相處開心罷了.

為什么這么小的要求都不給我.

Taurus

金牛座,
許多星座書都描述金牛座是個很固執的星座.

對,我承認我是.我的固執只會用在我執著的那刻.

我很倔強,
我不像小狗狗或者小貓咪那樣,
被奚落了一番,再給點甜頭,就會開心的搖搖尾巴,似乎忘記了之前的事情.
我絕對不行!!

我接受不了被人奚落一番后,再可憐自己.

可能這是你們的習慣,你們認為這是理所當然的,
所以我不必要為了這些而僅僅于懷.

抱歉,我不能,我有感受的,我也會難受的.
所以,我會很記得.

逐漸的,我知道我的性格變了.
變得無論發生什么事都不會說出來,
所有事情都自己默默忍受.


為什么,我做的事情沒有一件是得到大家認同的?